Countdown to thinness

This is my first time blogging. I'm not sure what is and is not appropriate to write in these things. So...let's hope I do this right.

It's the night before our Gastric Bypass surgery. I'm calm, cool and collected. As my husband puts it...this is old news for me. I've had 5 surgeries, so I know what to expect. I have absolutely NO doubts at all that I'm doing the right thing. I may not have exhausted all my resources before reaching this decision (hitting the gym for 2 hours every day, hiring a personal trainer, etc) but I know this is the one thing that will give me my life back.

It's been a rough life. I had a previous husband that, as we walked down the street, would point out thin pretty women and say, "Don't you wish you looked like them?" It's hard to have any self esteem when your own husband wished you looked like someone else.

Now I'm married to Mark. A wonderful man. The only problem....I got toooo comfortable. I have been eating anything I want. Not caring about my looks. Not because I didn't want to be attractive to Mark, but because he was so supportive and attentive, I didn't think twice about the extra weight I've added on as being a problem.

So the years went by and more and more weight got piled on. I have had many "wake-up" moments, but none that lead me down the path of thinness. I had given thought to surgery before, what they used to call stomach stapeling, but money always seemed to stop me. Now, with my husband's insurance, I can afford to spend some money on myself, to make ME happy. It's seems as if my entire life has been trying to make others happy, not myself. At 42, it's time I took care of me.

I have told 5 people about the surgery. Not one person was outright apposed. I actually received a lot more positive feedback and well wishing than I expected, not that I needed their blessings to go ahead with the surgery.

After reading all the info on what will be expected of me after the surgery, I know this isn't going to be an easy fix. It will be anything but. I will have to make huge changes in my eating habits. For instance....where I used to skip breakfast and lunch...I absolutely HAVE to eat now, or I will be extremely sick and pass out. As many as 5 "meals" during my work time. I absolutely hate eating in front of people. I have seen their stares, the terrible looks on their faces when they see a fat person eating. I can almost hear their thought. "She doesn't need to eat. She could afford to skip a few meals. What a cow."

So what have I done? Starved myself during the day and eaten myself out of house and home during the evening. NOT GOOD!

It's now 11:15pm and I have to get up at 3:00am. We will be leaving the house at 4:15am, to arrive at Overlake Hospital by 5:30am. Mark's surgery is at 7:30 and I am to follow right after. I am not worried about me. I know I'll be fine. I'm worried about Mark. He is very worried and scared. He's never had surgery before. He doesn't deal well with unknowns. I understand the need to be prepared, but whatever is going to happen, is going to happen. Whether we have met every single person who will be in the operating room, interviewed them like a jury selection, or not. Sometimes you have to just have to let it go and believe that your higher power will keep you safe.

I am getting extremely tired now. I think I will sign off. I will write more in a few days.

Pre-op photos

Here are the pre-op photos we took yesterday. I'll add the weights on them when we check in to the hospital and use that data. At our surgeon's pre-op weigh-in last week, I was at 369.5 and Tia was at 320.

‘Twas the Night Before Surgery

Twas the Night Before Surgery, and all through the house
The stress level was rising, no meditation could douse.
The hospital bag is out, packed yesterday with care
In hopes that the surgery time would soon be there
The linens ‘ve been washed, all fresh on the beds
While visions of “after photos” danced in our heads.

Wish us luck tomorrow morning! My surgery is at 7:30am, my wife Tia at 9:45am. Yikes!

Final pre-op appointment

Yesterday was yet another milestone - our final pre-op appointment with Dr. Lauter (our surgeon). Tia, Tedi, Rick, Deborah and I all piled in the car for the trip to Bellevue. Along the way we pointed out the directions to the hospital because they'd be picking us up and driving back after surgery.

Dr. Lauter was great, as usual. He's always very patient and has the ability to explain things very clearly. We talked about the final details, how our surgery day will go (hopefully) and life immediately afterwards.

So we're all set. It all feels very "real" now. There's that voice inside that's screaming "OMG I'm completely changing my life in 5 days!". A definite mix of fear and excitement. I get so motivated looking at before and after pics on some of the WLS site, it just gets me so excited about all the possibilities. My (Mark) biggest fears are still the anesthesia and the internal healing (I'm a slow healer due to my diabetes).

After the meeting we all went to TGI Fridays. Great meal, lots of fun. No strtict pre-op diet by Dr Lauter - just no big pig-outs or buffets. Love it!

The Nutritionist

On Sunday (yes, Sunday) we had our appointment with the Nutritionist - Minh-Hai Tran of Nutrition Works Seattle. She was very nice and answered a lot of our questions. She met with each of us individually, then together for the final 20 minutes.

I liked the fact that she gave us specific suggestions based on our eating/working habits and tried to fit our needs into our lifestyles.

Later on Sunday, we had a family meeting - Mark, Tia, Tedi, Rick and his girlfriend Deborah. Our family support system. We just went over what the surgery will entail, allowed them to ask any questions, then went over the schedule for the surgery and what we'd be asking their help with. It was a good meeting, I thought. Deborah had made us little Valentines Day gifts which were very cute. The remainder of the evening was spent watching Eddie Izzard!

So, we're down to just over a week before surgery. How am I (Mark) feeling? Well, the eating plan is now coming into focus, which is good. We're trying out protein shakes/powders to find the one we like best (keeing in mind out tastes will most likely change after surgery, based on what I've read). I'm still nervous about the surgery itself, having never had one before.

Next up? Pre-op meeting with the surgeon on Wednesday the 20th. The whole family support group is planning to attend, so it should be fun!

Just a little nervous

Mark posting:

Thought I'd share what's in my head at the moment. I'm a little nervous. Not about the decision to do the surgery, just about the hospital stay mainly. While Tia has had a few operations where she's been "under", I never have. I've never even been in a hospital unless it was to visit someone. My main concern, I think, is the anesthetic. You hear the horror stories about waking up during surgery, or being under and feeling things, but not being able to speak. Stuff like that. Yes, I read all the statistics about it, and I know it's extremely rare, but it still runs through my head.

I told my best friend Mike about the surgery on Friday. He was extremely supportive, as expected, but he has also never been under. No help there!

Being a research-aholic and planner, I'm also nervous because I don't have a super clear picture of what a typical day will be like after surgery. I'm studying like hell, and know quite a bit, but you can never predict which (if any) compliations will hit. The eating picture is coming into focus now, but from what I've read, all the pre-planning in the world can't predict how our tastes will change (and from what I read, that happens to the majority of people).

Maybe this is all meant to teach me how to go with the flow more? Hmmmmm.

Psych Eval

One of the things that Dr. Lauter requires is a psych eval (along with a nutritionist visit). Yesterday was the psych eval.

I (Mark) was pretty nervous about it, since approximately 20 years ago I had looked into one and failed this part. I have no idea why I failed, but they thought I wasn't suitable.

Tia and I had back to back appointments, starting at 9:00am down in Seattle with Jackie Leibsohm. We figure it would take us about an hour and a half in rush hour traffic to get down there, but we left 2 hours early just in case. Boy, it was lucky we did. There was a massive traffic accident in Everett that completely closed I-5. We jumped off at Everett Avenue and made our way on side streets around the problem (maybe a 5 or 6 mile backup). We made it to the psychologist with 5 minutes to spare.

I went first (get it over with). Jackie was very nice, and reassuring (which I needed). We talked about family history, expectations around the surgery outcome, depression, why we wanted the surgery at this point in our lives, etc. It went well and we both passed.

A trip to Dick's Drive In for one last time on the way home was nice.

Oh, before I forget, we bought one book on the recommendations of others regarding weight loss surgery - Weight Loss Surgery For Dummies. I never thought I'd buy something from that series, but the book is excellent. I found it on eBay cheap. Highly recommended.

Welcome to our blog!

About two weeks ago, we decided to change our lives forever. Both Tia and I are overweight and not too happy about it! We realize that we've exhausted all of our other options, and want to start living the lives that we dream about. Little every day things that most take for granted are a struggle, let alone doing fun things like ride horses, watch a Mariner game in comfort or travel on an airplane.

So Mark did some research - okay, a ton of research - and found Dr Lauter at Overlake hospital in Bellevue WA. He has a great reputation on obesityhelp.com plus we found someone who also works at Microsoft that had the same surgery with him (and she looks great - thanks Melissa!). We met with her and she patiently answered all of our questions. Next up, we met with Dr Lauter, who did an exam and also answered the remaining questions we had.

We decided to do it.

Thanks to Microsoft's fantastic insurance, we were fully covered and approved in less than a week (for many people this takes months, if at all). Our surgery date is scheduled for February 26, 2008 at Overlake Hospital in Bellevue.

So now we read, plan, and dream...